I wanted to write a post about dealing with perfection. The only problem is there is so much to talk about. Because of this, I decided the best solution would be to write this out in three different posts. I think the drive to be perfect is what hurts us the most, and no matter how hard we try, we’re only human and perfection is something that can’t be attained in our own strength. Once we understand this, life becomes a lot easier.
Time for me to be a bit vulnerable (le sigh). I personally struggle with acne. I go through stages when my skin somewhat tolerates me, and other times when it’s going on nuclear revenge and I start to question if I ever finished puberty (like come oooon! I’m in my 30’s already, why won’t you just let me live in the land of clear skin). The only thing that bugs me more than the acne is the scarring! I try to stay away from harsh chemicals, and I think I’ve tried everything on the natural market to get rid of it. I even finally saw a dermatologist who gave me lightening cream. All it did was cause me to look like Michael Jackson’s (Beat It days) distant cousin. I was looking a little too light for my liking, and it just made the scars stand out more! I’m also someone who doesn’t like to wear makeup; it’s not because I don’t believe in the magic that is foundation, I’m just too darn lazy. It’s hard enough getting out the door on time to catch the train without having to put on a full face of makeup!!!!
I will admit, these scars have taken a toll on my self-esteem because it is all I tend to see when I look in the mirror. Especially when the first thing people see is your face, and there are way too many women in the DC area with flawless skin (with and without makeup… darn those flawless skin women). So sometimes I think, do people see me or do they see the scars (the struggle is real y’all). BUT (and how we love a but), I’m finally learning that I’m am perfectly made just the way I am, flaws and all. God made me so perfect, He doesn’t see acne, or scars, or cellulite, un-manicured toes and fingers, He sees His creation, the one He spent 9 months (give or take a few weeks, I didn’t want to come out… so comfy) creating. So now I try and look at myself through His eyes (while at the same time making microdermabrasion appointments at Dr. Oldham’s office). When I really think about it, I’ve never had anyone ever mention the acne scars, it’s only what I see in the mirror. So this strive for perfection has only left me concentrating on my imperfections, and where we are weak, Christ is strong!
I couldn’t imagine being perfect! So much pressure to stay there! I think this is why I was a solid “B”/”C” student. All those “A” students had the pressure to stay on top! I had no pressure, I was just cruising in the middle enjoying life! If we just let go of trying to become perfect and accept that we are perfectly made, think of all the anxiety and fear that would be resolved.
Is there something that you’ve been trying to be perfect in? Something you have either learned to let go or you are still working on? Let me know! I won’t feel like the most vulnerable person on this page!